An Unforgetting Cradling: A Performative Witnessing of a Mother’s Return to a Children’s Orphanage

Once I walked as an accidental autoethnographer through the entrance door of a repurposed children’s orphanage. There on the doorstep, I witnessed a former resident in the final moments of a secular pilgrimage of unforgetting and cradling. Unforgetting is understood, in this article, as a metaphor for the thousands of women and children robbed of their truth, agency, and sometimes their future in state and religious-run orphanages. Cradling is understood as a metaphor for a desiring, sensual, performative, and singular/universal reparation. Influenced by phenomenological writings on the buildings we inhabit and those that inhabit us, and embodied, rhythmic, sensory, and experimental qualitative inquiry writing, I challenge the erasure of violence-toleration in official discourses of church and state-run institutions through a performative aesthetic of witnessing, evoking, and inscribing the lost sensations of a denied, difficult, and violent past into the grand narratives of mothers, children, and childhood.